I write this as a man who is flawed

I was born in Oak Cliff, TX, a suburb of south Dallas in 1966, not long after John Fitzgerald Kennedy was murdered. I can still remember seeing the Zapruter film on television and the idea that this was a conspiracy by the government to silence this man. Since then I have become aware of what this man spoke about, his ideas and why his death shocked the world.

Like most kids, I would go to the movies at the local theatre, problem is, that local theatre was the Texas Theatre, where Oswald was found soon after the shooting. I didn't know that then, it was decades before I realised it. I saw Jaws there, Bruce Lee movies and Fantastic Planet. I remember very clearly all the smoke from the people smoking. It was a wonderful time to grow up, even as poor as we were. Racism was starting to actually come to an end (or so I thought).

Every male in my immediate family had been in the military, and shortly thereafter my mother joined the army. It ranged the spectrum, from my uncle in the navy, who took pride in his service, to my uncle in the marines who was damaged mentally beyond belief with his time in Viet Nam. My stepfather served in the army and my other uncle was a pilot in the air force, all having been in Viet Nam. While they had their reasons for disliking the way things were, they still believed the Government was in the right. That war, in retrospect destroyed my family.

Around fourth grade I was placed in a new program "the gifted program". Of the time I spent in public schools, this was one of my favourite times, we would spend hours learning how to use logic in day to day activities. I guess I should touch on my school, John H. Reagan Elementary. Yes, I know the name means nothing to those reading this, but I would see the mans portrait everyday going to school.

John Henninger Reagan (October 8, 1818 – March 6, 1905), was a leading 19th century American politician from the U.S. state of Texas. A Democrat, Reagan resigned from the U.S. House of Representatives when Texas seceded from the Union and joined the Confederate States of America. He served in the cabinet of Jefferson Davis as Postmaster General. After the Confederate defeat, he called for cooperation with the federal government and thus became unpopular, but returned to public office when his predictions of harsh treatment for resistance were proved correct.

So you see, there is some "southern pride" in this texican. Its rather surprising that in this day of political correctness that there is still to this day a school named after him.

I'm going to skip the years between, but suffice it to say, I travelled to Europe, joined the Army Reserves and ended back up in Texas.

Skip ahead to the early 90's. I got it in my head to try and locate the father I had never met and posted a short description of him (everything I knew) on a genealogy board, I'm pretty sure it was ancestry.com. It wasn't long after that I got a message from a lady who said she knew my father, that she was in fact the mother my two brothers, that I had another younger brother in Houston and I seem to recall she mentioned a sister as well.

10 years later I finally met my father, two weeks before I moved from Texas to Arizona. I pass no judgement on him, its not my place, but because of that meeting, I have once again had contact with the lady who did what I never though a person would do, set aside any personal feelings and reach out to someone she didn't know. I now know who my two older brothers are, and while I'm sure we would bang heads about some things, I can tell that this lady has raised her children to take people for who they are. I have met my sister, I love her, we are very much alike in a lot of ways, and even though we communicate only via facebook its like we live in the same town sometimes to me. I can tell her anything.

I write this for one reason only, at times I wish she was my natural mother.